Trinity Guyton

Dear Katie,

I am sending an email because you so kindly offered your information in the BIPOC Integration Circle. I have not experienced a gathering like that ever. The energy was calm, people respected each other, and space was held for people even in their absence. It was amazing. 

Thank you for speaking your truth and offering an opinion that’s not popular yet. Redemption is a way we can gather everyone in the collective healing, that presents itself to us, as a society. A lot of us suffer from the illusion of separation and our current political, economic, housing, education, criminal justice systems reflect the illusion. I respect the religion of Buddhism. I’ve read books by Pema Chodron and Thich Nhat Hanh.  

I saw a picture of a sign from the renewed Black Lives Matter demonstrations. It said Cops Need to take Mushrooms. I agree slightly. I hesitate to speak about people as if they are not individuals and are all the same. Not everyone is ready to be awakened. It’s our free will to remain asleep. However police culture could use the psychedelic influence. We’ve got to find a way to introduce it to them, so it’s no perceived as a threat. Maybe that’s our task with society at large. 

I don’t have a blanket recommendation that everyone should work with these medicines. I also get nervous at the idea that people would suggest a group of people do anything if they are not that group of people or Love someone in that group of people. The thought of being studied, experimented upon, or observed by a group of people who see me as other is not exciting at all. 

I am in the process of writing about my experience with plant medicines because I am no longer a cop. I have no desire to ever be the police again. If I were the police I would not be free to explore plant medicines, due to random drug testing. Although after the first few years, they don’t test very often. There is a drug questionnaire, during the application process, to become a police officer. If an applicant admits to taking  psychedelics they are immediately, permanently, disqualified. To verify the truth, the lie detector test is part of the application process.

How does one pass the lie detector? You tell the truth or you lie, while remaining calm. You have two kinds of police as a result of this flawed tool. You have good cops and bad cops. The good cops told the truth and they are in for a big surprise. (The Criminal Justice System is Corrupt) The bad cops lied or took Sudafed to relax themselves and they believe good cops are naive at best. I’ll tell you a secret. Each group remains far away from the other. Police work is the type of work where you can do that kind of thing. Your car is your office. You show up on a call with a person you don’t like, do whatever you can, as fast as you can, and leave. 

As a first responder you witness and participate in trauma for a living. Sometimes you can relieve the suffering. Sometimes you are the cause of suffering. Sometimes you realize the system doesn’t protect those that need it most, like children. It all swirls together into a blur. I didn’t realize my police experiences were all that interesting until I started sharing stories with my retail co-workers.

As a cop you are in the habit of speaking with people who have eaten lunch while standing by on a dead body, been on the scene of a shooting, gotten in car chases. Your normal is not normal but you forget because you are around people who experience trauma regularly. People who are expected to dust themselves off and take the next call. People who are encouraged not to show any vulnerability because people count on you to be strong at all times. So when I see the heartlessness of some police I know what could be contributing to this way of being. 

I was given some tools to absorb the trauma, jokes with my co-workers, alcohol, or I could call the Employee Assistance Program. If I sought counseling I could talk to a person who gets to sit behind the desk for a living so, I decided I wouldn’t be interested. At my best I took up running, got into meditation and had a life outside of work. At my worst I drank as soon as I got home, even after the night shift, and had no time to workout because I was making so much extra money working off-duty. Instead of facing myself, I was a workaholic. 

I am excited we made this connection. I am willing to assist in any way possible. I have been looking for an opportunity to serve. I did not know who would be interested. My journey into plant medicines helped me to make sense of my experiences. I have healed by shedding tears, by dancing, by laughter, meditation, chanting and fasting. The good news is there are so many ways to release. 

I will always consider police my family even though I have tried hard not to. I can’t walk away from my brothers and sisters. Before I felt accepted in the black community, I felt accepted in the police community. I joined the force at eighteen as a civilian. I applied for the police academy at twenty-one. I wanted to be a cop since I was a kid. 

I failed miserably in the academy at twenty-one. If I had not have quit I believe they were actively conspiring to set me up to kick me out. I thought it was a job. As it turns out it was a lifestyle. I went back to my civilian work heartbroken. I worked on my character, my leadership skills, my physical fitness. I applied again and again to different departments. I even applied to the Anchorage Alaska Police Department. 

Finally at twenty-five I got accepted in the police academy again. I graduated third in my class. I had the privilege of being a cop under the direction of a black Mayor in Kansas City, the first black police chief, and the first black president. Eight years of putting others ahead of myself. Eight years of believing it was my duty to judge people, tell people what was right and what was wrong. I helped a lot of people. I was a welcoming face. I cared about people so much, if I put someone in handcuffs, in the cold and I couldn’t put them in my car, I would hold their hands in my gloved hands so they stayed warm. 

The criminal justice system is made up entirely of rules society deems appropriate. We can create something different. The reimagining of a Human Justice system will be ushered in more swiftly with the guidance, wisdom and entheogen integration. These medicines have given me a knowing that all people are equal and have intrinsic value. It’s no longer a theory or the right thing to say. I have experienced the oneness in my body thanks to my plant teachers.

Spiritual work, is my real work. Comedy is my play. I am at your service. Whatever I can do, any questions I may answer. I needed my time on the bench to recover. However I’m well rested. I feel the itch and I can no longer sit on the sidelines. I’m ready to get back in the game. The game is the Love revolution. Diversity is strength. The psychedelic movement needs as many diverse stories as possible, to connect with all people who are ready. I’m a hippie, in a happy square box. 

In writing this email I discovered things about myself I hadn’t even revealed to me. Thank you for being a mirror. 

Sincerely,

Trinity Guyton